did you think I had an unbreakable heart

2005-04-05 : 4:53 p.m.
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interesting article from http://www.heeltribune.com

http://www.heeltribune.com/article.php?id=65

I can see what's happening, and they don't have a clue...
I think it’s safe to say that I’ve spent most of my life obsessed with boys. Honestly, everything about them is so intriguing to me. And being one of those obnoxious girly girls, I have never understood why, my entire life, I have had so many “guy best friends.” I’m not one of those girls that “hangs with the guys.” I don’t want to sit there and listen to them burp and fart. I have no interest in what player is being traded to what team, and the only reason I pretend to be semi interested is because I want them to think I’m cool. But nonetheless, I have maintained relationships with some of these guy best friends for 15 years now. Why? And then I realized something very important.

I have hooked up with almost all of them. (not me,the article writer!!!!)

The reality is that girls and guys aren’t meant to be “platonic friends.” Sometimes friendships may last a really long time, sometimes they may not. But my theory lies on the idea that ultimately, your purpose in befriending the opposite, is just one more step in that long search for that perfect someone.

Think about it. You are 35- years -old, and happily married. Your husband walks through the door from a long day at work and all he wants to do is throw you on the kitchen counter and relieve some “stress.”

“Oh, I’m on the phone right now honey. My best friend John is having personal problems,” you say.
Your best friend john? And what about your husband and his personal problems? And then what is going to happen when John really wants you to come over and “hangout and watch movies” on a Saturday night. Or when John breaks up with his girlfriend, and needs “some time” with his “best girl friend.” Chances are, John likes you just as much as your husband does, and pretty soon you are going to have to choose one or the other.

Oh, and not to mention that if your husband isn’t your best friend in the first place, you got a whole other array of problems coming your way.

So if these friendships aren’t meant to last much past marriage, why do they begin in the first place.

First Reason: Convenience
Throughout my schooling years, I would find someone I like, or my friends found people they like. It was quite common for me to become close to my girl friend's boyfriend, or my crush's best friend, for the sole purpose of getting good juice out of them. They know someone that matters to you. They may also be really fun to talk to, and that’s a good plus. But ultimately they are there because your group of friends hangs out all the time. Because you need to know where your crush is at all times. Because your girl friend wants to know how much her boyfriend talks about her. And chances are, when the relationship ends or the crush fades, so will the friendship. And if it doesn’t, you two will probably end up dating yourselves.

Second Reason: an Undeniable Attraction
There is something about this guy best friend of yours that reminds you a lot of your father. He possesses characteristic traits that you will eventually want in a husband, you just can’t pinpoint them yet. You wake up one day and think about hooking up with him, and it scares you because you two have been so close for so long. But then again, the best relationships started from a solid friendship. The sexual chemistry is undeniable, and without a doubt, at one point, at least one of you will think about taking the next step. It’s a basic truth; we are meant to want eachother.

Now most of you are probably racking up millions and millions of examples to try and argue against my theory. But I challenge you with two thoughts.

First of all, I’m not talking about casual friendships. I’m talking about the guy and the girl that talk on the phone all the time, that have alone time together, that know each other’s deepest darkest secrets. The people that you “party” with or are in your group of friends are obviously platonic. If you wanted them to be more than just “party friends” you would have to make an extra effort to call and hang out with them. The typical person does not put in effort unless it's worth it. What about your best friend makes it worth it?

My second point: you may be thinking about one of your best friends right now. And the thought of kissing that person is absolutely disgusting to you. But have you ever thought of how he feels about you? What if, you walked up to that best friend, and made a move on him? Would he/she stop you? Just because you may think it’s platonic, he may be waiting for the day when you two can be more.

I have had many best guy friends in my life. I have either dated them, hooked up with them, been asked out by them, needed them for their friends, or stopped talking to them. Some of them realized a long time ago that I would never go for them. Those that I dated, I no longer talk to. And those that I hooked up with, I would probably hook up with again. Every single one of them that I still talk to, possesses some sort of characteristic trait that I want in my husband.

And who knows… maybe one of them will be my husband.

In no attempt to try and be cupid here, perhaps this has sparked a thought you have had in regards to one of your “besties.” Perhaps you realize that he is secretly in love with you. Perhaps you realize that you are secretly in love with him. Regardless, I hope you enjoy him/her. Because in a short 10 years and an engagement ring later, they may no longer be around.

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